Wishful Thinking

Shotguns!

I really like shooting shotguns at clay pigeons.  I’d apologize for such a simplistic post, but that’s really all I wanted to say.  So take that Ross Perot.

Stop Your Cups From Running Around the Beirut Table!

We’ve all been there.  Kicking ass at a game of Beirut when suddenly a cup on the back row slides off the table after being hit by a pong ball because there’s just a tiny bit of beer under it.

Well, as it turns out, there’s a way to stop that from happening without rigging up some crazy magnet system or cutting holes.

Oddly enough I was actually trying to make my table slicker when I did this, but discovered I actually had done the exact opposite.

Needed Supplies:

1. A Beirut Table (This must be a dedicated Beirut table because once you complete the steps below reversing the process will be near impossible.)
2. 1 Box of Paraffin Wax
3. A hard plastic scraper (snowboard shops have great ones, but almost anything that’s rigid and straight will do)
4. A snowboard iron or a regular iron that you never plan on using on clothes again
5. Beer

These steps are essentially the same as waxing a snowboard (or skis, if you’re a two planker), so if there is someone in your group then get them to do it.  Unless they are lazy and just take their board to the shop.  Remember reversing this process is near impossible without damaging the table, so make sure you really want to do it.

Step 1:  Using the iron, melt the wax and drip it on the table.  (Be careful, you can easily burn yourself doing this.)  You want to distribute it as evenly as possible and cover everything as best you can.

Step 2:  Iron the table.  Yup, you read that correctly.  Ironing the wax spots ensures that wax fills every nook and cranny.  Leave it go long enough that you can see the wax liquify but don’t let it start burning.

Step 3:  You are done with the iron, drink a beer.

Step 4:  Using the hard plastic scraper, start at an edge, and firmly scrape across the table in a straight line.  Continue this process until you scrape the whole table.

Step 5:  Feel the table to make sure it is smooth and there are no spots missing wax.  If you find a spot missing wax repeat steps 1-3.  If you feel a spot that isn’t smooth, but it isn’t missing wax, simply repeat step 3.

Step 6:  Clear off all the wax scrapings.

Step 7: Drink a beer and call your buddies over for some fun!

Done correctly the cups will move a little bit if there is no beer or water under them, but it will be very little.  As soon as beer gets on the table though, those cups don’t budge an inch.  I took a full cup of water and slid it across the table to a spot where I poured some water and it just stopped dead in it’s tracks.  If I sat and thought about it I might actually be able to tell you why, but I’m bored, and I want to play rock band, so you’re just going to have to be satisfied with it works damn it!

So I replaced the hard drive that I all but destroyed today.  It is Time Machine compatible which I find a-m-a-z-i-n-g.  So, I really don’t even have to think about it.  That’s great, though it took nearly 8 hours to create the original backup file.  I can’t possibly have that much crap can I?

Dear Digsby,

I just wanted to share with you why I will never use your service, even when you do finally release a Mac version.  I gave you my e-mail address with the hopes that when your undeniably fantastic application was available for Mac that you would e-mail me telling me so.  It was actually a pretty cool looking form, very simple, to the point and it looked good.  At the bottom you wrote a little note saying that you would never spam me.  This made me feel good, oh how I hate pointless e-mail.  But then this morning I found something in my inbox for you.  For a moment I was excited, “yay! I get to try a new piece of software!”  But alas, I was wrong.  You see, what you sent me was an e-mail telling me how great Digsby is on Windows, something that doesn’t matter to me in any way shape or form, that’s why I wanted to know when you released it for Mac.  Hmm, yes, see it’s all coming together now.  So really, what you did, was spam me.

Now one of your staff members may find this posting via twitter and send me an apology, or simply just an explanation but I really don’t care.  I’m tired of software companies using the “oh, it must have just crossed paths” excuse to get around the fact that you took an e-mail address that wasn’t supposed to be contacted for anything but one specific thing and then spamming me.  I’d expect this sort of thing from a shady website for some weird technology I know probably isn’t going to work anyways but I’m curious.  You’re a real service for crying out loud!  Have some dignity.  So Digsby, I’m sorry, but it just isn’t going to work out.  I’d say it’s me, just to make you feel a bit better, but I’m not going to, because let’s be honest, it is you and all the other companies like you.

So, obviously I’ve sucked at blogging lately.  It probably has something to do with the fact that not much has changed, at all, but that’s just life.  The more exciting news though is that Sam and I have started working on a new project.  It is called Kredibull and it will blow your mind.  Since your mind probably lacks something to blow, you’ll just have to settle for being astounded.  I’ll post more when I know when we’ll be launching the site.  Cheers.

Been a while

It’s been a while since I’ve posted but not for what I would call good reasons.  I’ve been extremely busy, and yet incredibly unsuccessful.  I’ve interviewed with a couple of companies so far, and I’ve been rejected by all of them so far.  The prospect of returning to PA is troubling, but it’s a reality that I might have to face.  It figures that my time of basically desperation comes as I’ve now started finding people who’s company I enjoy that aren’t Sam and Caitlin.

I just don’t know what more to do.  I spend every day trolling the classifieds and monster and careerbuilder with no progress.  I’ve looked up every company in chicago I can think of where I might be able to fit a position, and it’s starting to take it’s toll.  I try very hard not to get discouraged, but frankly, I’m a little past that point.

I’ve not really had the chance to just go out and enjoy things and have some fun.  Dropping a ball into a dog bowl was about the most fun I’ve had in weeks, though, in context it was fucking hilarious.  I’m just getting very tired, and to an extent cranky, and that’s not me.  So, here’s to hoping that things turn around.

That isn’t to say everything is bad.  I’m still very glad I’m getting to spend this time here with Sam.  Even if I do end up back in PA it will have been worth every minute.  I’ve regained a lot of belief in the idea that there are people out there that don’t drive me insane as a result.

Well, I just wanted to check in and say hi.  Hopefully the next post will be more positive.  Cheers